On Christmas Day in the Morning

How do you eat when you go to your inlaws? Do you talk about nutrition...and are they cool with your beliefs? My inlaws think yogurt is weird. Sushi is newfangled to them. I don't think they're open to the kind of stuff I'm into.

So yesterday was Christmas Day. Big, traditional gathering -- a rough ride for a nutritional adventurer. My policy on those occasions is: being polite trumps dietary preferences. And a codicil: I don't need to make myself sick to be polite. So I kind of eat around the meal and try to be a good guest. Thing is, sometimes I'm so focused on being polite that I become boring. Which is, let's face it, the worst guest of all.

Whatever. Here's a look at yesterday's food choices:

cup of green tea with two probiotic caps
green juice (1 head kale, 1/2 head celery, 1 head chard, 2 apples, 2 cucumbers) drunk in the morning
3 prenatal vitamins in the morning
a green apple, a kiwi
salad of 2 ears corn, tomato, sm. handful parsley, 2 stalks celery, 1/4 avocado, tsp. olive oil

mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, green beans, salad
sliver flourless chocolate cake

I feel a little jumpy and irritable after all those simple carbs. Or maybe it's just because I went through a family gathering without booze -- yikes! I'd forgotten how edgy and silent I get. I need wine! Please!

Oh well. The nitty gritty: prenatal vitamins are a thumbs up. I'd been very tired before I started them, but now I can work out in the gym, take a wee nap, and last until bedtime.

My digestion's still kind of slow, though -- you know, constipation. Ylch. I'm going regularly (every morning, sometimes again at night) but not as quick and clean as usual. I read that this is normal, but I'm not digging it. It's causing some issues. (Why can't I write this? I specifically intended to write about this stuff... but I'm all worried about putting it out there.) Let me try that again: I feel like I might be getting a hem'. And I guess that's normal with pregnant ladies, but I am opposed. Opposed! I'll up my fluid intake to see if I can avoid it.

I took a test yesterday just to check in, cause I'm so nervous about this. Still pregnant. We'll keep going.

The First Post

I'm really scared I'm going to miscarry. Maybe it'd be no big deal: We haven't told many people yet. Heck, we haven't known about it for long...I'm only 5 weeks gone. But I worry. I keep pressing on my breasts to see if they're still sore. I weigh them in my hands to see if they're loosening.

I'm almost 40; I just tested pregnant; and I've been eating a raw food diet for a couple of years. I'm not sure how all this is going to play out. Some women claim to have comfortable pregnancies on a raw diet. Physicians (and my family) think it's a crock of crap. I usually listen to my body and ignore the experts but, at 40, the chances of miscarriage are high. It may be as high as 20-30%. I don't want to mess around.

This is a blog about my attempt to have a healthy pregnancy. It's about the questions I have -- and answers I find -- about pregnancy nutrition. If it doesn't work out, if I miscarry, then we'll know my choices were wrong. If it does work out...well, knock wood. I want to write this anonymously so that I can write about intensely personal, physical things -- how things are going in the bathroom, how my breasts feel, twinges low down -- without modesty. I'm writing this blog because I wish it were already written. I wish I could read it to the end, now, to find out how I should have treated my pregnancy.

***

Today is Christmas morning. I'm on vacation and better able to take good care of myself. Yesterday, I treated my body like this:

Woke early after a bad night's sleep. (Dumpster emptying at 3 a.m. -- I heart NY.) I had a brief workout at the gym, cleaned the house, wrapped some presents, and then went to church and dinner with my inlaws. How did a prickly Jewish intellectual wind up in this tidy Catholic life? Eh. I'll leave that for another blog. Here's the food intake.

Cup of green tea, two MegaFlora probiotic caps
Green juice (1 head kale, 1 head romaine, 1 head celery, 1 cucumber, 1 apple) drunk throughout the day
3 Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal vitamins, spaced throughout the day
2 green apples
cup or two of pomegranate seeds
1/2 cup guacamole
3 soft corn tortillas
salad with hearts of palm, artichoke, tomato, peppers
ear of corn

We told my inlaws tonight about the pregnancy. I'd told my mom, via phone, just after I read the tests. But this was the first, tentative, "don't tell anyone" and "take this with a grain of salt, but..." announcement. I was nervous. I'd fantasized for a few years about making this sort of announcement, and now I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. What if it doesn't pan out? Ugh.

I won't see the doctor until late January, so I'll keep quiet until then. Why don't doctors see you right away any more? Shouldn't someone tell me to stop freebasing, now, while it's early? I mean, I'm almost 40 and pregnant -- I need advice! The nurse said I should take a prenatal and hang loose for now. Please. Has she never met a Jew before? We hang taut.

So, Christmas day. 5 a.m., and I'm the only one awake. My super-hot, somewhat mopey husband is still sleeping adorably. We haven't been married very long. He's still my boyfriend, in my mind.

The nitty-gritty: I evacuated my guts pretty well today. The raw corn helps, I guess; I'd been having trouble for the past few weeks. But my digestion is still slower than I like. I burp. I can't decide if that's good (a sign that I'm still pregnant) or bad. I felt a few twinges very low down -- just above the mons pubis. No major cramping in the uterus. Am I still pregnant?

That's enough for one day. Fingers crossed.